Uncle Lazer

SpecialManWhite

Career avg·2.81 bits/set·4.31 beats/set·0.41 punch density·0.81 tag density·16 sets

This set·3 bits·5 beats·0.54 punch density·0.40 tag density

Watch Uncle Lazer’s set

Skips to 1:45:46 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I volunteered to coach a little league baseball team

down there in Austin this summer.

And by volunteered, I mean it was court ordered.

[Bit 2]

But there's a plethora of single mothers

at them baseball games.

Any single mothers in here?

Yeah, I can smell you, bitch.

like Thanksgiving leftovers, you goddamn right I can't.

[Bit 3]

And listen, I love me a good single mother now,

I really do, more kids are better, all right?

I need that pussy waller down.

If that pussy don't look like a mud flap

on the back of an 18 wheeler just blowing around

in the breeze, I just don't want no part of it.

'Cause I'ma be honest with y'all,

tight pussy makes me claustrophobic,

you know what I'm saying?

What I wanna do, have sex with a 21 or a little

type pussy come in 30 seconds, apologize for half an hour,

and then listen to her talk about true blood, not a chance.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Volunteering implies altruism, but reveals court order.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI volunteered to coach a little league baseball team

setupdown there in Austin this summer.

punchlineAnd by volunteered, I mean it was court ordered.