Yeah, give me some fucking mike slack.
[Bit 1]
What the fuck? Hey, if you're not a doctor, no advice. Oh, you should try the paleo dye.
He's like a caveman, no legumes.
Yeah, that's the problem.
my neurologist will blow his fucking brains out.
[Bit 2]
Oh, have you tried CBD?
It's like weed but it won't get you high.
Give me some crack cocaine.
I want some crocodile, some heroin.
What's the worst that can happen?
I lose the ability of walking talk
The kill streak continues for Michael Lehrer
Unbelievable story an unbelievable comedian. No, you're a fucking rock star Michael. This is thing
What is this, your third or fourth time on?
Third time motherfucker at every time.
And you've been in the comedy business for 20 years.
And you got back into stand up exactly how long ago?
Five months ago, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, how do you like that motherfuckers?
And this is very exciting.
[Bit 3]
And how long ago did you get diagnosed with ALS?
- Why get to bring up all the depressing shit?
What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
- Let's talk about drugs and fucking.
- All right, fine, all right, fine.
I get it from my nurse-less girlfriend?
[Bit 4]
- She's mad 'cause my bucket list
has too much buffucking on it.
I think The Butt is a really good sequel to The Pussy.
Like, The Pussy is the Terminator.
The butt is Terminator 2.
The butt is Man-do Berry Blast.
No one wants to fuck with you, Michael. Everybody loves you here.
Guys, this is your first time seeing Michael Ehr. This is what he does.
Every time he's on this show.
[Bit 5]
I'm the... I'm the hottest thing in Hollywood right now.
I'm the next R.J. Mike from Breaking Bad.
Yeah, I can alphabet super holly when motherfuckers want a piece of my broken ass.
Dude, I'm probably going to Skankfest.
Yeah, they're coming next week those guys are gonna be here I know I'm gonna corner them
For the reekin rather snake I'll put my own my plot on you and you did you your bitch eyes Wow
Wow! He just called out Luis J. Gomez, who literally fights everyone.
He'll probably actually try to fight you, Michael. I don't like this at all.
Yeah! What good news is I only fly Puerto Ricans.
Hey! Can I say something?
You can say whatever you want at this point, Michael.
[Bit 6]
I'm going to Skankfest.
Alright, I'm gonna perform. I'm gonna do Kill Tony.
But I'm only going there for one reason really.
To murder Jim Florentine.
Wow, why do you want to do that?
A year and a half ago I emailed him to make my wish
because his crank calls made me laugh.
And then, Crankin' Curse got rebooted, and he's been ghosting me for the year and a half.
You hear that, you fucking Hollywood cock motherfucker?
Everybody gets a taste of success.
They just start torching bridges immediately.
I killed three times on Kill Tony.
Yo, I'm from Queens, New York. We don't play, alright?
