How we doing, Austin, y'all all right?
[Bit 1]
-Happy Black History Month.
They got that light-skinned feller painting.
They got D-madness dressed like a butler.
Before we get started on it,
[Bit 2]
Before we get started, listen, I don't care what you are.
You sure are right as a human being,
whatever you do, don't impede on what someone else does.
You're sure right as a human being.
Like, look, I don't care if you're gay.
I don't care if you're trans.
I don't even care if you're black.
Your body, your choice, you know what I'm talking about?
And you're like, well, black's not a choice.
Well, they choose to be that loud at the movie theater,
Listen now. Listen here, goddamn it.
[Bit 3]
I ain't racist to nobody. I don't want to--
But there is one motherfucker I do hate, okay?
One motherfucker I can't stand.
And that is a motherfucker with the audacity
to ask me if I want to help them move furniture
from one apartment complex to the other, okay?
Listen, dude, the goddamn blatant disrespect
you got to ask me to help you move with California King,
down two flights of stairs.
Yeah, man, as soon as we get there,
you might as well just fuck my wife on that mattress, all right?
I'd rather have full-blown fucking AIDS, all right?
Like, not Magic Johnson AIDS.
Quit playing basketball in the '90s.
I'm talking Dallas Bar Club's AIDS, all right?
You can swat them flies off their meebe opening kid's face.
With that being said, uh...
I got to move on Saturday if anybody wants to.
Everybody's got pickup truck. I can borrow my name's uncle. I'm gonna go. Oh laser has started this show
