William Montgomery

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Career avg·4.13 bits/set·4.51 beats/set·0.61 punch density·0.57 tag density·101 sets

This set·4 bits·5 beats·0.89 punch density·0.60 tag density

Watch William Montgomery’s set

Skips to 2:16:19 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Jeffrey Goldberg, the journalist who just published a story about the Trump administration

texting him war plans, the biggest snitch of all time.

If the Trump team texted me war plans, my ass ain't writing a damn article.

I'm going to be sending gifts back like Rocky and Apollo Creed shaking hands, saying shit

like, "Let's roll, patriots!"

sending selfies of me wearing camouflage in my bedroom.

[Bit 2]

Red Van's mom is such a bad slut,

she couldn't blow a breathalyzer.

And she's an old one, too.

[Bit 3]

Amy Schumer has had such terrible side effects

from the weight loss drug, ozimpic,

that she says she's gonna lose weight naturally.

Step one, she said, is to reduce her ice cream sandwich intake from five to three a day.

[Bit 4]

The mayor of Minot, North Dakota got busted for sending a masturbation video to a city employee.

And I'm just over here trying to figure out how in the hell did the mayor of Minot, North Dakota get his hands on a Redman video?

Red band does these nasty solo male fucking jacking off shit.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Publishing leaked plans implies journalism, but reveals snitching.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupJeffrey Goldberg, the journalist who just published a story about the Trump administration

punchlinetexting him war plans, the biggest snitch of all time.