Cassandra Heartford

Bucket PullWomanLarge Joke Book

Career avg·4.00 bits/set·5.00 beats/set·0.75 punch density·0.20 tag density·1 set

This set·4 bits·5 beats·0.75 punch density·0.20 tag density·Large Joke Book

Watch Cassandra Heartford’s set

Skips to 2:00:37 in the episode

[Bit 1]

My cousin called me on the way earlier today to let me know how excited she was that she

took a ancestry.com test and we are 12% of the same DNA.

Thank God I'm only 12% fat retard.

[Bit 2]

Other cousins are black and in jail,

so I don't know which one's worse.

None of them have ever seen a ballot box.

Wait, do they let retards vote in Texas?

They do.

[Bit 3]

If you couldn't tell, I grew up prejudiced.

prejudice? I thought everyone with Down syndrome was related. Just one big old

family of thumbs. Did you guys hear about the big bankruptcy? You know they

[Bit 4]

employ all of the retards in America. What was it? Hooters? What are we gonna do with all those girls?

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“12% DNA implies kinship, but reveals disabled similarity.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupMy cousin called me on the way earlier today to let me know how excited she was that she

setuptook a ancestry.com test and we are 12% of the same DNA.

punchlineThank God I'm only 12% fat retard.