William Montgomery

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Career avg·4.13 bits/set·4.51 beats/set·0.61 punch density·0.57 tag density·101 sets

This set·5 bits·6 beats·0.71 punch density·0.67 tag density

Watch William Montgomery’s set

Skips to 1:30:14 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I had to tell my daughter for the first time last week,

"Bitch, if you see me in the kitchen,

you better stay out of my way."

[Bit 2]

Sundance Film Festival had three films

about abortion this year.

The good news is that only two unborn children

were harmed during the making of the films.

And the other one was given to the Clinton Foundation.

[Bit 3]

I met a guy who wrote for the show NCIS and he told me,

"Did y'all know that NCIS is supposed to be said like a word?"

"Okay, I thought that was gonna go better."

[Bit 4]

Roger Waters has recently angered Pink Floyd fans around the world,

around the world surprisingly not because of his pro-Russia stances but

because he said A-Fex Twin isn't a real musician.

Fuck that guy!

[Bit 5]

The other day I explained to Redband how the first person contracted Monkey Pox.

They banged a monkey to which Redband replied, "Oh no, I sure hope I don't get Cousin Pox."

He fucks his cousins!

That's a fact he literally has sex with one of his cousins. That's a fact. Look it up

She's hot. Yeah, look it up. No you can look at the video. It's on the fucking internet. It's so gross they filmed it

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Scolding a family member in the kitchen implies a partner dispute, but reveals a father asserting dominance over his daughter.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI had to tell my daughter for the first time last week,

setup"Bitch, if you see me in the kitchen,

punchlineyou better stay out of my way."