William Montgomery

RegularManBlackWhiteSmall Joke BookLarge Joke Book

Career avg·4.13 bits/set·4.51 beats/set·0.61 punch density·0.57 tag density·101 sets

This set·4 bits·4 beats·0.58 punch density·0.75 tag density

Watch William Montgomery’s set

Skips to 1:54:10 in the episode

[Bit 1]

- When Trump's people took over,

they discovered Biden had budgeted $50 million

for condoms in Gaza.

I'd heard they'd do a lot of tunneling over there,

but damn!

[Bit 2]

They just found vomit and did mark

that it's 66 million years old.

Red band, you never told me you did stand up for cavemen.

'Cause what somebody does so bad is stand up

to people in the audience, vomit.

[Bit 3]

So I've got a rebranding opportunity.

Instead of Goldman Sachs, Goldman Sachs.

It's not about your asset size, it's your circum size.

[Bit 4]

A woman recently went blind when she accidentally

put nail glue in her eyes instead of eye drops.

I'm not a doctor, but here's some advice.

Don't do that again, you stupid bitch.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“"Tunneling" can mean digging war tunnels or sexual penetration.”

Joke Type

double-meaning

Lines

setup- When Trump's people took over,

setupthey discovered Biden had budgeted $50 million

setupfor condoms in Gaza.

punchlineI'd heard they'd do a lot of tunneling over there,

tagbut damn!