2025-05-06

Set 8 · Episode 717

William Montgomery

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Career avg·4.13 bits/set·4.51 beats/set·0.61 punch density·0.57 tag density·101 sets

This set·4 bits·5 beats·0.44 punch density·0.60 tag density

Watch William Montgomery’s set

Skips to 2:14:57 in the episode

[Bit 1]

-Carmelo Anthony has had quite the month of April.

I mean, first he's inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame,

and then he travels to a high school track meet

and kills someone.

He killed someone.

He claimed self-defense, which would be the first time

Carmelo Anthony attempted defense.

[Bit 2]

Everybody gives sand to all the props,

but what about the Easter bunny?

He has to hop, hop, hop his ass to every Christian household

in America.

Santa's fat ass rides in a chariot, eating cookies

and drinking milk.

Meanwhile, the bunny is a one-man band,

and all we leave him is nothing but,

oh, and by the way, Jesus died and rose from the dead,

so have some respect.

[Bit 3]

The pope died yesterday, and it's kind of weird

because he died the day after JD Vance came to see him.

I mean, it would make a lot more sense

if it had been Hillary Clinton,

but who had been the last one to see him alive,

but JD Vance!

[Bit 4]

And by the way, I heard after he died, they scheduled a meeting of the Cardinals, and

I had no idea the Pope had played professional baseball.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“A Hall of Fame month implies career honor, but reveals a murder accusation.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setup-Carmelo Anthony has had quite the month of April.

setupI mean, first he's inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame,

setupand then he travels to a high school track meet

punchlineand kills someone.

tagHe killed someone.