Set 1 · Episode 747
Danny Martinello
Bucket PullManSmall Joke Book
Career avg·1.67 bits/set·4.67 beats/set·0.38 punch density·1.12 tag density·3 sets
This set·1 bit·5 beats·0.38 punch density·1.20 tag density
Watch Danny Martinello’s set
Skips to 6:59 in the episode
[Bit 1]
Recently I was told taking a bath makes me feminine
and if having a bath makes me feminine
then tuck my nuts and call me Danielle
'cause I do not give a fuck.
You know how many times I've seen you girls
take those bathtub photos with your foot
underneath the faucet and like a half a glass
of Chardonnay in the corner,
mind you it's a full bottle, eh?
And then the little motivational quote of like,
"Live your best life, Queen Bee,
who you're supposed to be.
Like, I wanna have that so bad.
I saw a girl have a chartreur-y tray
in the back of her bathtub.
I'm like, why can't I have a bruschetta
and a bath bomb as a bro?
You know, like I already take a shit and I eat a parfait.
I might as well have a meat and cheese spread
while I bathe.
I'd have to make it more manly though, right?
I'd have to have a half crushed Modello can in the corner.
And instead of a chartreur-y tray though,
just a floating zen puck in the background.
You know, but I fear if I took that photo,
one of my buddies would just zoom in
on the stainless steel faucet,
catch my dick just floating right in the middle of the tub.
'Cause that's what it does. I'm not gonna lie.
It's just a buoy sitting in the middle of the lake flaccid,
just chilling, you know?
Whenever I see you girls take those photos,
I'm fucking zooming, dude,
to the point where I can't zoom no more,
and then I just take a screenshot
and zoom in an extra little bit.
Just to see if I can catch a dorsal fin
- A mussel fin underneath the water.
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“Taking baths becomes so extreme that Danielle fits.”
Joke Type
hyperboleLines
setupRecently I was told taking a bath makes me feminine
setupand if having a bath makes me feminine
punchlinethen tuck my nuts and call me Danielle
tag'cause I do not give a fuck.