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KT #750 - LANCE ARMSTRONG + MATT MCCUSKER + TIM BUTTERLY

2025-12-30

Ron White

SpecialManWhite

Watch Ron White's Kill Tony episode 750 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 3 joke beats, 0.30 punch density, 1.67 tag density.

Career avg·1.50 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.26 punch density·1.50 tag density·2 sets

This set·1 bit·3 beats·0.30 punch density·1.67 tag density

What a band! What a band!

Rolled the class, I didn't listen.

So I just got off a plane and I came back and I actually heard Lance was going to be on and I thought I got to come up here.

[Bit 1]

And I just came in from Los Angeles.

My favorite thing about Los Angeles, Tony, is that the people out there,

and you know I've always been kind of pro-California, which is not always a popular thing, you know.

But the people out there are just so goddamn pretty.

And I tell you how it happened.

Back in the 1920s, they started making movies out there.

And all these beautiful people from all over America

flocked the fuck out there to be in the movies.

And they couldn't all be in the movies.

Some got regular jobs, but they met those people

that were in the movies.

They got together and they had these beautiful babies.

And those babies grew up and met other babies

from the same area.

They got together and had even more beautiful babies.

And almost the exact opposite thing

is happening right now in Kansas.

Kansas is full of ugly quitters, have you ever been there?

It's true, those people that live on the west coast,

their forefathers got on the Oregon Trail

and fought hardships you and I can't even dream of

with starvation and weather crossing the Rocky Mountains.

Not those people in Kansas, their forefathers

on the Oregon Trail in St. Louis, Missouri.

They got to Kansas and said, "Fuck it, I'm staying here,

and I'm gonna fuck that fat girl right over there."

We had a baby. It looks like a potato.

And that potato grew up and met another potato

from the same town, and...

That's a downward spiral.

Topeka.

That's exactly how that fucking happened.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupAnd I just came in from Los Angeles.

setupMy favorite thing about Los Angeles, Tony, is that the people out there,

setupand you know I've always been kind of pro-California, which is not always a popular thing, you know.

setupBut the people out there are just so goddamn pretty.

setupAnd I tell you how it happened.

setupBack in the 1920s, they started making movies out there.

setupAnd all these beautiful people from all over America

setupflocked the fuck out there to be in the movies.

setupAnd they couldn't all be in the movies.

setupSome got regular jobs, but they met those people

setupthat were in the movies.

setupThey got together and they had these beautiful babies.

setupAnd those babies grew up and met other babies

setupfrom the same area.

setupThey got together and had even more beautiful babies.

setupAnd almost the exact opposite thing

punchlineis happening right now in Kansas.

tagKansas is full of ugly quitters, have you ever been there?