Set 4 · Episode 582
Kim Congdon
Bucket PullWoman
Career avg·3.00 bits/set·5.00 beats/set·0.47 punch density·1.30 tag density·2 sets
This set·3 bits·5 beats·0.58 punch density·1.80 tag density
Watch Kim Congdon’s set
Skips to 33:40 in the episode
[Bit 1]
God, I'm so nervous.
And I don't do that much stand up, and I'm a virgin.
[Bit 2]
You guys, I did some shopping today.
It was pretty fun.
I went and bought some clothes at Forever 21,
which is sad at 32.
It doesn't feel good.
Fashion is not good.
It's a fucking horrible idea.
Don't do it.
The clothes aren't good.
I bought a pair of boots.
I tried to wear them here.
It was a bad idea.
My feet had blood all over them.
They were like $3.
Blood all over my feet.
I'm serious.
It wasn't my blood.
It was the kid who made them.
He's forever seven.
Dog, I swear, I love those sweatshop kids.
I keep getting older and they stay the same age.
Those are the real red bottoms.
[Bit 3]
I can't stand a bitch is scared of birds.
If you're in here and you feel like,
you're like, "Oh, that's me, I'm scared of birds.
"No one likes you."
At the end of the night,
when your friends are done hanging out,
they just keep hanging out without you.
Even worse than a bitch that's scared of birds is a bitch that's scared of clowns.
So annoying, right? If you're scared of clowns, and I mean this, get raped.
Have a real problem.
Unless you got raped by a clown, then I'm so sorry.
If you got raped by a bird, bitch hit the gym.
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“Admitting inexperience implies stage fright, but reveals an unrelated sexual claim.”
Joke Type
misdirectLines
setupGod, I'm so nervous.
punchlineAnd I don't do that much stand up, and I'm a virgin.