2026-05-05
Set 4 · Episode 766
Seabass Mattar
Bucket PullSmall Joke Book
Career avg·2.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.36 punch density·1.00 tag density·1 set
This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.36 punch density·1.00 tag density·Small Joke Book
Watch Seabass Mattar’s set
Skips to 42:22 in the episode
[Bit 1]
All right, no gratitude here, no problem.
That's the problem with people today.
There's no fucking gratitude anywhere.
I saw a guy with a forehead, a hair say
he had a bad hair day.
I was like, "Bitch, I look like I drive a Honda CRV
"as a stepdad."
[Bit 2]
And one of the things that I was gratefully blessed with
was my dad had a heart transplant.
So every day he woke up was a grateful day, right?
And I got this tattoo in memorance of him.
And it says, "All this extra time."
That was my dad's motto.
I had a Cuban guy tattoo it, and I was like,
"Mira Emmanuel, I don't wanna see no silent H's
in that bitch.
No tildes."
And I love it, and I love everything it stands for,
but the only thing I regret is where I put it,
'cause it's on my right hand.
I gotta go jerk off.
I'm like, "Papi, oh yeah."
You already had your time, you know what I mean?
But it does stay true to something my dad always told me.
He said, "Life's gonna get hard. Life's gonna get rough.
But if you need a hand, I'll always be there for you."
And I was like, "Goddamn. Not like that."
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“A bald head is like a stepdad's appearance because both signal defeated domesticity.”
Joke Type
analogyLines
setupAll right, no gratitude here, no problem.
setupThat's the problem with people today.
setupThere's no fucking gratitude anywhere.
setupI saw a guy with a forehead, a hair say
setuphe had a bad hair day.
setupI was like, "Bitch, I look like I drive a Honda CRV
punchline"as a stepdad."