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2020-07-08

Mitch Burrow

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Watch Mitch Burrow's Kill Tony episode 462 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 4 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.69 punch density, 1.75 tag density.

Career avg·3.00 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.32 punch density·0.81 tag density·3 sets

This set·4 bits·4 beats·0.69 punch density·1.75 tag density

[Bit 1]

I really hate being fat.

I used to not be fat, because I used to be in the Marine Corps.

But what bothers me the most is that I've been the same size

now for five years.

And still, whenever I see somebody that haven't seen,

like, a month or two, they'll come up to me and be like,

damn, Mitch, you look good.

Are you losing weight?

And I'm just like, how fat am I in your memory

that every time you see me, you're just like, oh, that's

not as bad as I recall, actually.

[Bit 2]

I miss not being fat because I used to fuck a lot more, just

at all, really.

I used to fuck sometimes.

I miss it.

[Bit 3]

I actually lived in Asia for three years.

I fucked a lot of Asian chicks when I was over there.

It wasn't like a fetish or anything,

just more of what was available at the time.

[Bit 4]

One of my friends found out they used to

fuck a lot of Asian chicks and he got excited.

He was like, "Dude, I love Asian chicks.

"I wanna hook up with more Asian chicks.

"What's the secret?"

And I was like, "Well, I moved to Asia."

So I don't know how much you're willing to commit to this,

but that's what I had to do.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI really hate being fat.

setupI used to not be fat, because I used to be in the Marine Corps.

setupBut what bothers me the most is that I've been the same size

setupnow for five years.

setupAnd still, whenever I see somebody that haven't seen,

setuplike, a month or two, they'll come up to me and be like,

setupdamn, Mitch, you look good.

setupAre you losing weight?

punchlineAnd I'm just like, how fat am I in your memory

tagthat every time you see me, you're just like, oh, that's

tagnot as bad as I recall, actually.