William Montgomery

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Career avg·4.13 bits/set·4.51 beats/set·0.61 punch density·0.57 tag density·101 sets

This set·3 bits·6 beats·1.00 punch density·0.83 tag density

Watch William Montgomery’s set

Skips to 2:11:52 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Well, it happened. Virginia Giffrey got suicided this past week in Australia after having been hit by a school bus going 80 miles an hour

miles an hour a couple weeks before.

In the immortal words of Hillary Clinton,

if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

[Bit 2]

So the Philadelphia Eagles drafted a guy named Jihad

Campbell.

My math may be off, but wasn't he born after 9/11,

and they named him Jihad Campbell?

He's an explosive linebacker really

willing to sacrifice his body.

Heal fast, I mean, he's fast.

In college, I heard he banged 99 virgins,

and if you think the New York Giants can tower over him,

he will fly right into them two at a time.

If he launches into two people hard enough,

a third might fall down.

If folks will claim it was a controlled demolition.

Also, there's a rumor Mossad knew about Jihad Campbell,

but failed to warn the Patriots.

[Bit 3]

I ain't taking no shit!

That's my impression of a constipated man.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“A perseverance quote could be advice for assassination conspiracies.”

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupWell, it happened. Virginia Giffrey got suicided this past week in Australia after having been hit by a school bus going 80 miles an hour

setupmiles an hour a couple weeks before.

setupIn the immortal words of Hillary Clinton,

punchlineif at first you don't succeed, try, try again.