Set 1 · Episode 671
Ari Matti
RegularManWhiteSmall Joke Book
Career avg·2.08 bits/set·4.28 beats/set·0.56 punch density·1.00 tag density·25 sets
This set·1 bit·4 beats·0.21 punch density·0.00 tag density
Watch Ari Matti’s set
Skips to 4:58 in the episode
[Bit 1]
Yes, I'll tell you about my dream.
I want an American passport.
And I need help with that.
To be honest, I just want a passport
where if I go missing, somebody comes looking.
'Cause I have an Estonian passport.
If I get in trouble here, I'm fucked.
But with the American one, with that eagle on your shit,
you could be in fucking Beirut.
You pull that shit out, caw-caw!
You know, people will back the fuck up.
You could be some random whore,
sucking dick in Pakistan.
If you go missing, bro, Navy SEALs in the night.
Night vision goggles on and shit,
they shoot Ahmed in the head.
Brittany Grimer, that bitch,
took weed to Russia,
and you were like, "We gotta get our girl back!"
Exchange her for an active terrorist,
so she could come back and play point guard
for a made up subsidiary league.
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“An Estonian passport could be abandonment paperwork.”
Joke Type
reframeLines
setupYes, I'll tell you about my dream.
setupI want an American passport.
setupAnd I need help with that.
setupTo be honest, I just want a passport
setupwhere if I go missing, somebody comes looking.
setup'Cause I have an Estonian passport.
punchlineIf I get in trouble here, I'm fucked.