Dan Nolan

Bucket PullManWhite

Watch Dan Nolan's Kill Tony episode 468 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 3 joke beats, 0.44 punch density, 1.67 tag density.

Career avg·3.75 bits/set·4.25 beats/set·0.50 punch density·0.98 tag density·8 sets

This set·1 bit·3 beats·0.44 punch density·1.67 tag density

[Bit 1]

I just got five years sober at the start of quarantine.

It sucked, I wanted to go out and get fucked up

to celebrate.

This is so fucking weird.

I don't know, I'm not actually completely sober.

I did drop acid a couple weeks ago on my birthday,

which I don't think counts.

Some people think that that counts,

but I feel like I always have to clarify,

like I'm five years sober unless you are fucking lame.

Then it's-- a lot of people don't know this.

Actually, the guy who founded AA,

he got kicked out because he told everybody

that they should take acid.

And it's really good for sobriety.

And they kicked him out.

And then when he was on his death bed,

his last dying wish was for a bottle of whiskey.

And they refused to give it to him.

And then he just had to die sober like a fucking dork.

I'd be so mad if someone did that to me.

I'd be like, are you trying to ruin my death bed?

Like, what are you doing?

I'm gonna do a bunch of heroin on my deathbed for sure.

And if you don't like it, don't come to my fucking deathbed.

You're not invited, you fucking loser.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI just got five years sober at the start of quarantine.

setupIt sucked, I wanted to go out and get fucked up

punchlineto celebrate.