Dan Nolan on Kill Tony
8 sets·3.75 bits/set·4.25 beats/set·0.50 punch density·0.98 tag density
About Dan Nolan's sets
Dan Nolan has done 8 sets on Kill Tony, the first on episode #115 (6 May 2020) and the latest on episode #685 (1 Oct 2024).
Dan Nolan came to the show as a bucket pull, a comic whose name is drawn from the bucket for a one-minute set.
Dan Nolan has performed for guest panels including Sam Tallent, Josh Adam Meyers, Studio Sessions 23 and Sklar Brothers.
Dan Nolan averages 0.50 laugh lines, punchlines and tags, for every setup or filler line. That is more than 67% of the 1,713 other comics PunchNotes has broken down.
Dan Nolan's punch density went from 0.48 in the first set to 0.53 in the latest.
On average Dan Nolan follows each punchline with 0.98 tags.
Of the 34 jokes PunchNotes has classified, 15 are misdirect jokes, ahead of reframe (9).
Appearances
| Episode | Date | Guest panel | Bits | Punch density | Tag density |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| KT #685 | 1 Oct 2024 | Sam Tallent | 4 | 0.53 | 1.00 |
| KT #468 | 18 Aug 2020 | Josh Adam Meyers, Studio Sessions 23 | 1 | 0.44 | 1.67 |
| KT #211 | 18 Aug 2017 | Sklar Brothers | 4 | 0.29 | 0.50 |
| KT #196 | 23 May 2017 | KILL TONY #196 | 6 | 0.67 | 0.33 |
| KT #176 | 28 Aug 2017 | Stephen Glickman, Kirk Fox | 2 | 0.21 | 0.33 |
| KT #168 | 6 May 2020 | Earl Skakel, Kirk Fox | 6 | 0.77 | 0.67 |
| KT #163 | 21 July 2016 | Brody Stevens, Josh Wolf | 4 | 0.59 | 1.00 |
| KT #115 | 6 May 2020 | Dom Irrera, Greg Fitzsimmons | 3 | 0.48 | 2.33 |
Jokes from Dan Nolan's sets
A few jokes from each set. Open a set for the full transcript and every joke.
KT #6851 Oct 2024
I'm 6'5". A lot of insecurities with being tall. Like I always thought that I had a small penis.
Turned out it was just far away.
Me and my girlfriend are trying to have a baby. We're getting all the tests done and stuff. I just got my sperm tested.
It was a blindfolded taste test.
Almost everyone preferred Pepsi.
KT #46818 Aug 2020
I just got five years sober at the start of quarantine. It sucked, I wanted to go out and get fucked up
to celebrate.
which I don't think counts. Some people think that that counts, but I feel like I always have to clarify,
like I'm five years sober unless you are fucking lame.
KT #21118 Aug 2017
Jail's not that bad, you actually just hang out all day, you can watch TV.
It's just like having a shitty regular life.
Everybody's just gonna think I'm a goof, but you gotta look tough in there. So last minute, right when they're about to leave my hand,
I just went to, yo, fuck these pancakes!
KT #19623 May 2017
I just flew in from a lesbian wedding
and boy are my moms tired.
I'm starting a new band. The sound that we're going for is gonna be like a cross
between Simon and Garfunkel, like just those two guys.
KT #17628 Aug 2017
I just celebrated 18 months clean and sober.
Sorry, Saturdays are still my cheat day.
So it's not a big deal.
All you got to do is you just take it, and when you're walking out, if the alarm goes off, Just be white. You just be a white guy. And you just turn around and go, "What did I do?"
And they're like, "Don't worry about it, buddy."
KT #1686 May 2020
Hey, I just found out that penguins made for life. I wish somebody had told me that
before I fucked all of those penguins. They will not leave me alone.
I'm just, "Man, man, man, get out of here.
I called you an Uber."
I think that jerking off in the shower
should be called master bathing.
KT #16321 July 2016
"I could never do heroin. "I hate needles." And I'm like, "That's because the needles you've been using
"aren't filled with sweet, delicious heroin."
If that were the case, we'd all be getting vaccinated
until we had severe autism.
I never had to suck a dick for heroin though.
The guys I got it from just wanted money.
I was lucky.
KT #1156 May 2020
I used to steal Rosetta Stone language software from Target. It's pretty easy. All you have to do is, when you're walking out
and the alarm goes off, just be a white guy with glasses.
That's it.
So they shut down my eBay account. I had to start selling it on Craigslist. I literally had to start meeting dudes in sketchy parking lots
to sell them Rosetta Stone language.
They'd be like, you said I was going to be Italian.
I'm like, it's Portuguese, motherfucker.