Lino Rodriguez

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Watch Lino Rodriguez's Kill Tony episode 660 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 5 bits, 5 joke beats, 0.92 punch density, 1.40 tag density.

Career avg·3.00 bits/set·4.20 beats/set·0.69 punch density·1.20 tag density·5 sets

This set·5 bits·5 beats·0.92 punch density·1.40 tag density

-Hello, my name is Lino Rodriguez.

I'm a door guy on Sixth Street.

[Bit 1]

And right now, my main diet is pizza and cigarettes, you know?

I really got to stop eating cigarettes.

[Bit 2]

I'm actually Puerto Rican.

I'm a Puerto Rican that can't speak Spanish, though.

I think it'd be like being a Catholic priest

that doesn't fuck kids.

Uh...

Everyone expects me to.

But I'm just one of the good ones.

I wasn't raised that way.

[Bit 3]

The other day, I was hanging out,

watching my new favorite movie,

"Talapari's Medea Goes to Palestine,"

and...

"Oh, my gur. Just get a learn."

"Just get a learn."

[Bit 4]

I started to think about how I like to do Molly

and compliment bald people on their eyebrows, you know?

They don't really hear that anymore.

[Bit 5]

I actually think they should start dying their heads

like Easter eggs.

That'd be fucking, all right.

I'm Lino, thank you so much, thank you.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

double-meaning

Lines

setupAnd right now, my main diet is pizza and cigarettes, you know?

punchlineI really got to stop eating cigarettes.