Matthew Maloney

Bucket PullManYoungWhite

Watch Matthew Maloney's Kill Tony episode 151 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 1 joke beat, 0.09 punch density, 0.00 tag density.

Career avg·1.33 bits/set·3.17 beats/set·0.57 punch density·0.39 tag density·6 sets

This set·1 bit·1 beat·0.09 punch density·0.00 tag density

[Bit 1]

- I just showed my pet scorpion to a friend of mine.

And he asked me, I just showed a pet scorpion

friend of mine and he asked me is it poisonous and I said no not at all but

that's not what he heard based off of what he did next he must have heard me

say no not at all please feel free to reach in and grab my scorpion this guy

takes his bare hand reaches it over into the tank and the second that he gets

close enough she stings him right on the inside of his asshole there are a lot

more agile than we give him credit for. And so John's on the floor and he's driving in

a new kind of pain. 20 minutes later I say, "John, we need to get you to a hospital.

I think you're allergic to scorpions." And he starts to be like, "Whoa, whoa, you said

that it was not poisonous." John, of course not. Who's ever heard of a poisonous scorpion,

but they're venomous as shit. Thank you.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setup- I just showed my pet scorpion to a friend of mine.

setupAnd he asked me, I just showed a pet scorpion

setupfriend of mine and he asked me is it poisonous and I said no not at all but

setupthat's not what he heard based off of what he did next he must have heard me

setupsay no not at all please feel free to reach in and grab my scorpion this guy

setuptakes his bare hand reaches it over into the tank and the second that he gets

setupclose enough she stings him right on the inside of his asshole there are a lot

setupmore agile than we give him credit for. And so John's on the floor and he's driving in

setupa new kind of pain. 20 minutes later I say, "John, we need to get you to a hospital.

setupI think you're allergic to scorpions." And he starts to be like, "Whoa, whoa, you said

setupthat it was not poisonous." John, of course not. Who's ever heard of a poisonous scorpion,

punchlinebut they're venomous as shit. Thank you.