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KT #725 - MATT RIFE + TONY CARUSO (ADAM RAY)

2025-07-01

Ahren Belisle

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Watch Ahren Belisle's Kill Tony episode 725 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 3 bits, 5 joke beats, 0.35 punch density, 0.20 tag density.

Career avg·1.90 bits/set·4.20 beats/set·0.98 punch density·1.92 tag density·10 sets

This set·3 bits·5 beats·0.35 punch density·0.20 tag density

[Bit 1]

I've been in hospitals all week with no insurance because I'm going blind in my left eye and

they're like, "It's not pink eye.

It's not glaucoma.

Did you get acid in your eye?"

Do I look like someone who's allowed to work with fucking acid?

I know you idiot, I ate a Tide Pod.

[Bit 2]

Bruh, God just doesn't like me.

He saw me minding my own business and thought,

fuck, I missed a spot on the left side.

[Bit 3]

I've been trying to figure out American healthcare

and I don't get it.

You can get pet insurance for like $80 a month

and it covers 90%.

You save like $6,000 a year to be a fucking chihuahua.

You know what?

Maybe those teenagers with litter boxes in school are fucking genius.

People already talk to me loud and cute.

They pat my head.

I'm gonna get pet insurance and identify as a fucking dog.

Ladies and gentlemen, Aaron Bowile.

So if you see my girlfriend walking me around on a leash,

it isn't a kink.

I just didn't like my HMO.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI've been in hospitals all week with no insurance because I'm going blind in my left eye and

setupthey're like, "It's not pink eye.

setupIt's not glaucoma.

setupDid you get acid in your eye?"

punchlineDo I look like someone who's allowed to work with fucking acid?

tagI know you idiot, I ate a Tide Pod.