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Kill Tony #118 (Jerrod Carmichael, Dan Germain)

2020-05-06

Melissa Esslinger

Bucket PullWomanWhiteYoung

Watch Melissa Esslinger's Kill Tony episode 118 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 3 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.29 punch density, 0.75 tag density.

Career avg·2.43 bits/set·2.94 beats/set·0.50 punch density·0.56 tag density·35 sets

This set·3 bits·4 beats·0.29 punch density·0.75 tag density

Yeah, so.

No, I'm good.

I'm good.

All right.

Can I start?

Yeah, you got it.

Yeah.

This is not stand-up comedy.

[Bit 1]

I'm dog-sitting right now.

I fit right in because I'm crippled and they both only have one eye.

I'm a dog-sitting right now.

I fit right in because I'm crippled and they both only have one eye.

Do you know, like, walking a one-eyed dog is really crappy.

Two, two one-eyed dogs, not just one.

One one-eyed dog is okay.

You're nice.

You saved them.

Two one-eyed dogs and you're like a sadist.

I ruined a kid's ice cream cone.

Walking the dogs.

[Bit 2]

Yeah, some people like a warm cup of coffee.

This isn't a good night.

Some people like a warm cup of coffee when they wake up.

I like a warm bag of poop.

Yeah, so let's talk about something else.

[Bit 3]

My mom, when she gave me the first sex talk,

that was fun, it was on the way to get birth control

after my first birth, fuck.

First pregnancy scare.

I'm failing, guys, I'm sorry.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupI'm dog-sitting right now.

punchlineI fit right in because I'm crippled and they both only have one eye.