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KT #747 - HARLAND WILLIAMS + NICK ROCHEFORT

2025-12-09

Danny Martinello

Bucket PullManSmall Joke Book

Watch Danny Martinello's Kill Tony episode 747 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 5 joke beats, 0.38 punch density, 1.20 tag density.

Career avg·1.67 bits/set·4.67 beats/set·0.38 punch density·1.12 tag density·3 sets

This set·1 bit·5 beats·0.38 punch density·1.20 tag density

[Bit 1]

Recently I was told taking a bath makes me feminine

and if having a bath makes me feminine

then tuck my nuts and call me Danielle

'cause I do not give a fuck.

You know how many times I've seen you girls

take those bathtub photos with your foot

underneath the faucet and like a half a glass

of Chardonnay in the corner,

mind you it's a full bottle, eh?

And then the little motivational quote of like,

"Live your best life, Queen Bee,

who you're supposed to be.

Like, I wanna have that so bad.

I saw a girl have a chartreur-y tray

in the back of her bathtub.

I'm like, why can't I have a bruschetta

and a bath bomb as a bro?

You know, like I already take a shit and I eat a parfait.

I might as well have a meat and cheese spread

while I bathe.

I'd have to make it more manly though, right?

I'd have to have a half crushed Modello can in the corner.

And instead of a chartreur-y tray though,

just a floating zen puck in the background.

You know, but I fear if I took that photo,

one of my buddies would just zoom in

on the stainless steel faucet,

catch my dick just floating right in the middle of the tub.

'Cause that's what it does. I'm not gonna lie.

It's just a buoy sitting in the middle of the lake flaccid,

just chilling, you know?

'Cause that's what I do.

Whenever I see you girls take those photos,

I'm fucking zooming, dude,

to the point where I can't zoom no more,

and then I just take a screenshot

and zoom in an extra little bit.

Just to see if I can catch a dorsal fin

- A mussel fin underneath the water.

Thank you guys, everybody, Danny Marnello.

Bit 1 · Beat 2

Beat Details

Joke Type

elephant-in-the-room

Lines

setupYou know how many times I've seen you girls

setuptake those bathtub photos with your foot

setupunderneath the faucet and like a half a glass

setupof Chardonnay in the corner,

setupmind you it's a full bottle, eh?

setupAnd then the little motivational quote of like,

setup"Live your best life, Queen Bee,

setupwho you're supposed to be.

setupLike, I wanna have that so bad.

setupI saw a girl have a chartreur-y tray

setupin the back of her bathtub.

punchlineI'm like, why can't I have a bruschetta

tagand a bath bomb as a bro?