Sion Lazar

Bucket PullMedium Joke Book

Watch Sion Lazar's Kill Tony episode 755 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 2 bits, 3 joke beats, 0.32 punch density, 1.00 tag density.

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.32 punch density·1.00 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·3 beats·0.32 punch density·1.00 tag density·Medium Joke Book

-Well, I just came from Shanghai.

I'm sorry if some of my humor doesn't land,

but I'm used to talking to people who don't speak English.

So if you don't mind, I'm going to talk a little bit

about some Chinese problems.

[Bit 1]

If you people think that they don't drive well over here,

you should see how they walk.

There's this one guy, he walked into me about 10 times.

It's kind of like those remote cars

when they bump into something.

He just, "Yee-yah, boom, yee-yah, boom."

They don't even look up from their phone.

They just keep on bouncing into your ass

until they just burn out.

[Bit 2]

The other problem is they got a lot of metrosexuals out there.

Does anyone know what a metrosexual is?

If you don't know what a Metro's...

Calm down, Americans. Calm down.

Stand on your head and calm down, like the police say.

So put your hands in the air, stand on your head and calm down.

No. Calm down, sir.

You need to -- No.

What they do is, in the Metro, if you're walking around

and you don't know what a Metrosexual is,

just watch who's bouncing off of the poles.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupIf you people think that they don't drive well over here,

punchlineyou should see how they walk.