Melissa Esslinger

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Watch Melissa Esslinger's Kill Tony episode 155 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 4 joke beats, 0.27 punch density, 0.00 tag density.

Career avg·2.43 bits/set·2.94 beats/set·0.50 punch density·0.56 tag density·35 sets

This set·1 bit·4 beats·0.27 punch density·0.00 tag density

[Bit 1]

I got in trouble a lot when I was a kid for talking too

much.

I was a real bad ass.

My mom--

well, I would sit in the back of the car when she was

driving, and I would count.

but I didn't know what came after 29,

so I would just start back at 20,

and 28, 29, 20, so my mom was never worried

that I would be kidnapped ever,

'cause they would definitely bring me back.

I would also, I discovered when I was four years old

that if you say the same word over and over again,

it starts to sound weird.

I found that out with Garfield.

It was like, Garfield, Garfield, Garfield, Garfield.

Gar- Whoa. Whoa.

My mom.

My mom would just be like, "Melissa, would you please just breathe between sentences and maybe just not say the sentences?"

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI got in trouble a lot when I was a kid for talking too

setupmuch.

punchlineI was a real bad ass.