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2024-09-03

Todd Royce

Golden TicketManWhite

Watch Todd Royce's Kill Tony episode 679 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 5 bits, 7 joke beats, 0.35 punch density, 0.00 tag density.

Career avg·2.86 bits/set·4.43 beats/set·0.36 punch density·0.71 tag density·7 sets

This set·5 bits·7 beats·0.35 punch density·0.00 tag density

[Bit 1]

I've been married for 17 years,

and when you're together for a long time like that,

you wanna start doing new things in bed.

Like, she's learned, she should definitely be on top.

[Bit 2]

But we try new things now.

Like, I try to be more romantic.

She's trying to fuck black guys.

[Bit 3]

The other night, she asked me to choke her.

You can't choke your wife of 17 years.

because you might not stop.

We...

It's true.

[Bit 4]

We don't have any children.

I don't know what I could possibly teach a kid.

I don't know anything about science or history

or portion control.

I don't know.

[Bit 5]

I do know that if I had a kid,

I would teach them that no matter what they identify with,

they don't have to conform to all of the rules

of that group.

someone who's like, "Oh, I'm a white liberal,

but I don't have to use race in every conversation I have,"

or someone who's like, "I'm trans,

but I don't have to be fucking annoying about it,"

or, "I'm Catholic, and I'm not even attracted to children."

Thank you, guys.

Bit 3 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupThe other night, she asked me to choke her.

setupYou can't choke your wife of 17 years.

punchlinebecause you might not stop.