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Kill Tony #115 (Dom Irrera, Greg Fitzsimmons)

2020-05-06

Dan Nolan

Bucket PullManWhite

Watch Dan Nolan's Kill Tony episode 115 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 3 bits, 3 joke beats, 0.48 punch density, 2.33 tag density.

Career avg·3.75 bits/set·4.25 beats/set·0.50 punch density·0.98 tag density·8 sets

This set·3 bits·3 beats·0.48 punch density·2.33 tag density

What's up, guys?

[Bit 1]

Hey, I just celebrated five months clean and sober, you

guys, five months clean and sober.

Thank you.

I go to meetings every day.

I just got my first sponsor.

It's MailChimp.

It's a variety sponsored by MailChimp.

Email marketing solutions for your website

or small business.

Go to MailChimp.com.

Enter the promo code Maren.

[Bit 2]

I used to have to shoplift for money to buy heroin.

I used to steal Rosetta Stone language software from Target.

It's pretty easy.

All you have to do is, when you're walking out

and the alarm goes off, just be a white guy with glasses.

That's it.

[Bit 3]

But so I used to sell it on eBay for half of what it costs.

And then it turns out Rosetta Stone actually

has these goons that go out.

They make sure nobody's doing that.

So they shut down my eBay account.

I had to start selling it on Craigslist.

I swear to God this is true.

I literally had to start meeting dudes in sketchy parking lots

to sell them Rosetta Stone language.

They'd be like, you said I was going to be Italian.

I'm like, it's Portuguese, motherfucker.

You take what I give you.

Fuck yeah, Dan Nolan.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupHey, I just celebrated five months clean and sober, you

setupguys, five months clean and sober.

setupI go to meetings every day.

setupI just got my first sponsor.

punchlineIt's MailChimp.

tagIt's a variety sponsored by MailChimp.

setupEmail marketing solutions for your website

tagor small business.

setupGo to MailChimp.com.

tagEnter the promo code Maren.