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2024-10-15

Emily Wade

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Watch Emily Wade's Kill Tony episode 687 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 5 joke beats, 0.45 punch density, 0.80 tag density.

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.53 punch density·1.40 tag density·2 sets

This set·1 bit·5 beats·0.45 punch density·0.80 tag density·Small Joke Book

- What's up, Kill Tony?

How are you doing tonight?

My name's Emily Wade.

[Bit 1]

I'm 26.

My dad's 66, and recently he married a Ugandan male-order bride who's younger than me,

which has been great for my mental health.

Let me tell you that.

Which is great for my mental health.

Most people go to sleep at night, they count sheep.

They count cows jumping over the moon.

Me?

I count the amount of times my dad's gotten sloppy from somebody who's still

watching SpongeBob on repeat.

And I come every time, let me tell you.

He does all this shit for this bitch

that he never did for me.

He paid for her rent, he paid for her car,

he paid for her college.

I had to drop out twice

because I couldn't afford to go back to school.

If I had known that's all it would take,

I'd have sucked the fuck out of my dad's dick years ago.

Talk about a full fucking ride.

Now don't worry, my dad knows I do that joke.

He actually came up to me after my set.

He goes, "Emily, I just want you to know

"everything you said tonight is absolutely true.

"How would you feel about going back to college?"

And I'm excited to announce I'll be starting at UT.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupI'm 26.

setupMy dad's 66, and recently he married a Ugandan male-order bride who's younger than me,

punchlinewhich has been great for my mental health.

tagLet me tell you that.

tagWhich is great for my mental health.