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2024-12-31

Ari Matti

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Watch Ari Matti's Kill Tony episode 698 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 4 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.33 punch density, 1.00 tag density.

Career avg·2.29 bits/set·4.17 beats/set·0.53 punch density·1.03 tag density·35 sets

This set·4 bits·4 beats·0.33 punch density·1.00 tag density

I love America.

[Bit 1]

Life is so good in America that you guys create your own problems.

That's how cancel culture started.

Bitches with blue hair with nothing to do.

Can you believe what Tony Hinscribe said?

Kill yourself, you miserable bitch.

Life is good!

[Bit 2]

Even me a couple of nights ago, I'm at home, it's 3am, I'm fucking.

By the way, this is how men look like when we jack off, it's fucking...

It's fucking dark, dude.

Don't ever walk in on your man masturbating, it's fucking...

Like, I don't know how women do it, but I imagine it's a bit, you know, like...

It's a bit more fong shui, you know.

Maybe there's a candle or something.

Atmosphere.

Dudes are just fucking on the shitter pants by your ankles.

Must get the poison out.

[Bit 3]

I have to make rational decisions.

Holy fuck, I almost bought a BMW.

[Bit 4]

And there I was, 3 a.m., I was doing my thing,

and only in America can you do this.

All of a sudden, I feel my tummy.

Want a little bit of yummy?

You get that Uber Eats?

What? 3 a.m.

There could be a hurricane outside,

Pablo is coming.

On a bicycle with my burger,

I pay five extra bucks,

Pablo will parachute in fucking 325.

I had a belly full of burger, belly button full of gum.

What a country!

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

elephant-in-the-room

Lines

setupLife is so good in America that you guys create your own problems.

setupThat's how cancel culture started.

setupBitches with blue hair with nothing to do.

setupCan you believe what Tony Hinscribe said?

punchlineKill yourself, you miserable bitch.

tagLife is good!