Watch Rick Diaz’s set

Skips to 2:31:16 in the episode

Having trouble with the embed? Open on YouTube at 2:31:16

KT #666 - POST MALONE + TIM DILLON + DR PHIL (ADAM RAY)

Rick Diaz

Bucket Pull

Watch Rick Diaz's Kill Tony episode 666 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 8 bits, 9 joke beats, 0.41 punch density, 0.22 tag density.

Career avg·5.33 bits/set·6.00 beats/set·0.43 punch density·0.07 tag density·3 sets

This set·8 bits·9 beats·0.41 punch density·0.22 tag density

[Bit 1]

I don't drink. I don't do any drugs. I'm unhappy.

I'm 47 years old.

My secret?

Depression.

Every evening I moisturize with tears.

[Bit 2]

Ladies, you get unsolicited dick pics.

I get unsolicited medical advice.

And dick pics.

[Bit 3]

I left my toothbrush at a girl's place.

It was my little way of telling her, you know, to use one.

[Bit 4]

I had a talk with my ex, and she told me,

"Rick, you're like a robot. You have no emotions."

And I told her, "I think that's a little bit unfair.

It's not because you learned to receive emotions

a specific way when you were growing up,

but it means I have no emotions.

It just means I express them differently."

I think that's a pretty good answer.

Thank you, chat GPT.

[Bit 5]

My uncle suffered from mental health issues.

My uncle heard voices.

One day he came to me and he was like,

"Rick, my voices are telling me I should kill myself."

I was like, "No, you're fine."

That was just me in the bathtub.

[Bit 6]

My buddy called me up the other day.

He told me, "Hey, Rick, you wanna hang?"

I was like, "How did you know?"

He was like, "No, I mean hang together."

I was like, the more the merrier.

[Bit 7]

Yeah, I talked to a priest, I told him,

I really want to die, but I'm also really afraid to die.

And he was like, don't worry my son, when you die,

you will be granted with the gift of eternal life.

[Bit 8]

My ex, my ex did,

My ex did two suicide attempts in front of me.

She was so competitive.

Thank you very much.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI don't drink. I don't do any drugs. I'm unhappy.

setupI'm 47 years old.

setupMy secret?

punchlineDepression.

tagEvery evening I moisturize with tears.