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2025-02-04

Ari Matti

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Watch Ari Matti's Kill Tony episode 703 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 4 bits, 5 joke beats, 0.85 punch density, 1.20 tag density.

Career avg·2.29 bits/set·4.17 beats/set·0.53 punch density·1.03 tag density·35 sets

This set·4 bits·5 beats·0.85 punch density·1.20 tag density

[Bit 1]

Hello! Hello! Hello! I went to North Carolina Asheville this weekend. It got

hit by a horrible hurricane. It looked like a post-apocalyptic movie. But then I

I went to the hotel room and I looked at Asheville before.

I gotta tell you, the hurricane didn't do that much.

Even the hurricane was like, "Oh shit! Somebody already did this!"

[Bit 2]

LA is on fire! LA, oh my God, so sad!

Where are the pedophiles gonna live now?

My mom!

Where are we gonna fuck the kids now?

Eat my ass, L.A.

[Bit 3]

They asked me for a dollar at Whole Foods yesterday

for the Relief Fund L.A.

Who's that dollar gonna go to? Mel Gibson? Fuck you.

[Bit 4]

I don't feel bad for people who lost a house

because I wish I had a house to lose, you know what I'm saying?

I wish I got a new start.

I mean, I wish I had a start.

That's probably the best part about being poor as shit, huh?

And renting, I don't give a fuck.

If I go home after this gig and my apartment's on fire,

The only thing I do is I put my hands out for warmth.

I look at the landlord like, "I guess the lease is up now, motherfucker."

Our curse has been lifted.

Thank you.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupHello! Hello! Hello! I went to North Carolina Asheville this weekend. It got

setuphit by a horrible hurricane. It looked like a post-apocalyptic movie. But then I

setupI went to the hotel room and I looked at Asheville before.

setupI gotta tell you, the hurricane didn't do that much.

punchlineEven the hurricane was like, "Oh shit! Somebody already did this!"