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2019-10-24

Todd Royce

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Watch Todd Royce's Kill Tony episode 405 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 2 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.19 punch density, 0.00 tag density.

Career avg·2.86 bits/set·4.43 beats/set·0.36 punch density·0.71 tag density·7 sets

This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.19 punch density·0.00 tag density

[Bit 1]

- My mom has been married five times,

which means that I've had more dads

than I've had girlfriends.

I've been married for 12 years,

which means I've had more arguments

than I've had blow jobs.

And you might be thinking,

"Oh wow, they must fight a lot."

No.

[Bit 2]

I thought about sending my wife a dick pic,

but then I'd have to put up with the criticism.

She'd be like, "Why don't you ever use a filter?"

And I'm, "What kind of filter do you use?

"Do you want a black and white one?"

And then she'd be like,

"Shit, I didn't know you were cool.

"I'll just take a black one."

I don't understand guys that do dick pics,

especially if they're unsolicited,

guys just take a picture of their own junk

and then are like, "You know who'd love this?

"Carol and accounting."

The only person I've ever sent a dick pic to

is myself just to check in on him every once in a while.

Thank you guys.

Bit 1 · Beat 2

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI've been married for 12 years,

setupwhich means I've had more arguments

setupthan I've had blow jobs.

setupAnd you might be thinking,

setup"Oh wow, they must fight a lot."

punchlineNo.