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2018-12-27

Kirsten Alberts

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Watch Kirsten Alberts's Kill Tony episode 156 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 4 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.43 punch density, 0.50 tag density.

Career avg·3.67 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.45 punch density·0.79 tag density·3 sets

This set·4 bits·4 beats·0.43 punch density·0.50 tag density

[Bit 1]

- So things haven't been going so great for me lately.

I've been trying to generate some good karma

by paying it forward.

So like instead of putting money

in people's expired parking meters,

I just wait and take the parking tickets off their cars.

That way they have a good day.

[Bit 2]

But I do like helping people.

Like I give money to the homeless,

but only to women, 'cause I don't have to pay 'em as much.

[Bit 3]

I don't know, I've always struggled

with having a realistic body image.

Like I always wanted a body like Barbie,

so I cut my nipples off and sewed my pussy shut.

And now I'm beautiful, so beautiful.

[Bit 4]

My boyfriend dies, a huge Star Wars nerd.

He loves Star Wars, so I decided I'm gonna surprise him

tonight with some sexy role-playing.

It's gonna be Princess Leia from The Waste Up

and Chewbacca from The Waste Down.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setup- So things haven't been going so great for me lately.

setupI've been trying to generate some good karma

setupby paying it forward.

setupSo like instead of putting money

setupin people's expired parking meters,

punchlineI just wait and take the parking tickets off their cars.

tagThat way they have a good day.