Kirsten Alberts on Kill Tony
3 sets·3.67 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.45 punch density·0.79 tag density
About Kirsten Alberts's sets
Kirsten Alberts has done 3 sets on Kill Tony, the first on episode #156 (27 Dec 2018) and the latest on episode #194 (23 May 2017).
Kirsten Alberts came to the show as a bucket pull, a comic whose name is drawn from the bucket for a one-minute set.
Kirsten Alberts has performed for guest panels including Stephen Glickman, Mike Lawrence and Jeff Ross.
Kirsten Alberts averages 0.45 laugh lines, punchlines and tags, for every setup or filler line. That is more than 62% of the 1,713 other comics PunchNotes has broken down.
Kirsten Alberts's punch density went from 0.43 in the first set to 0.53 in the latest.
On average Kirsten Alberts follows each punchline with 0.79 tags.
Of the 12 jokes PunchNotes has classified, 9 are misdirect jokes, ahead of double-meaning (3).
Appearances
Jokes from Kirsten Alberts's sets
A few jokes from each set. Open a set for the full transcript and every joke.
KT #19423 May 2017
And you know I don't consider myself sexy. I'm cute. You know and like a prepubescent. I can keep a secret sort of way But when I went in to apply for the waitressing job the manager was like yeah We're actually interviewing people tomorrow, so when you come back in just make sure you look camera ready
I was like okay camera ready like like just from the neck up
I was like, "Can I let the Indians keep their land?"
Or do I need to give him some smallpox?
KT #17024 Oct 2016
But since I've waitress, I always tip 20% now And I don't mind tipping well because for every dollar I tip,
I steal one roll of toilet paper from the bathroom
to make up for it.
I saw really great cover bands last weekend. And say what you will about cover bands, but you've got to give them credit because they
need it to buy a car to live in.
KT #15627 Dec 2018
by paying it forward. So like instead of putting money in people's expired parking meters,
I just wait and take the parking tickets off their cars.
That way they have a good day.
I don't know, I've always struggled with having a realistic body image. Like I always wanted a body like Barbie,
so I cut my nipples off and sewed my pussy shut.
And now I'm beautiful, so beautiful.