Sounds like he's the crowd favorite.
[Bit 1]
- I just moved to Los Angeles pretty recently.
I used to live in New York City.
Some people ask me, oh, don't you miss New York City?
Sometimes I miss New York City.
So what I do now when I miss New York City is I take my bed
and I put it in my bathroom.
Then I invite a friend to come live in the bathroom with me.
And then I invite another friend to come and just
New York smells like piss.
[Bit 2]
I like women's hands.
I have this weird hand fetish with women.
I have this thing where I can tell right away
if I want to have sex with a woman
Because basically if she has hands,
I want to have sex with her.
I would fuck a girl without hands.
Well I wouldn't, I'm not a monster.
That would be weird if I fucked a girl,
if I wouldn't fuck a girl without hands.
Yeah, I like that David Perry
I already knew you were funny though and still still funny dude. Yeah, can I just say something real quick?
I think it's well, I don't know if it's weird or not
But I came home the other night and my wife was watching Krista Leah on periscope
But really I came home and she was and then she was like really embarrassed, you know
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's like it.
What are you doing? And she goes, "I think Periscope's really stupid."
And I was like, "Are you watching Krista Lea on Periscope?"
"Yeah, it's really stupid, he's like petting his dogs and shit."
And then everyone's like hearting it, and it's, I don't know, it's really stupid.
So you walked in on your girlfriend finger blasting herself to...
It felt that way. It really felt like it was...
It was his wife, and she was having sex with Krista Lea.
It felt that way. It felt like it was...
Did you watch the replay and see like how much she was like I want to suck your hog and shit like that
But yeah, because periscope I well periscope is creepy like it feels creepy
Yeah, you know like you don't watch it in public really you watch it
You know like all these people having fun, but she also said she said interesting thing
I thought it was interesting because she said well he's a comic so I thought he said look at me petting my
dogs I thought I would click on it it would be something stupid and funny and
weird but it was really just him petting his dogs yeah and then I found
myself watching him petting his dog yeah basic shit bro you know I mean how long
do you know how long she watched for no I have no idea I didn't ask her I was too
I was too ashamed you know I just because she was really enjoying it I
think so I'm sure she would enjoy there's five hundred people watching it
to be fair there were five right right there's a lot of people there's a lot of
competition so I don't feel that threat what's the most people you've ever had
like I don't know like 1500 maybe what were you doing
petting his dog zebras what were you doing no I'm kidding I don't know nothing
nothing it's boy I don't even get it driving it's I think it's I I'm trying
to learn how to do it and be fun you'd like be funny on it but like you're just
kind of you do it when you're bored you know I mean so I'm still trying to
figure it out yeah I mean I'll spend my whole day trying to fucking figure it
out don't you always hope it's gonna be other shit though cuz it'll be like
driving and you'd be like it's probably not driving when you click on it like
it's gonna be it's gonna be some fuck action yeah I think it's their fuck
acts there's gotta be well that's what I was I think that you I don't think that
they allow that because you would know that I got banned from it and I had to
find out like all the rules and then they undid the band and stuff but yeah
there's no porn on it so it's like a three-week-old thing and you've already
been banned yeah it's not it's not the same rules and I heard that they're
actually getting rid of porn on Twitter what's the point I'm really yeah well
you can just show I mean you can just show you can just show whatever on
Twitter can show anything yeah David up until this week you've had a you've been
Notorious you cuz you were on last week right I was before that okay, and you had a giant
Mustache oh yeah, oh yeah, you got rid of it. Yeah, that's how I saw you had one. Yeah, how's that been going for you?
Well, yeah, it's fine with any major differences. Yeah people say oh, did you shave your mustache?
That's a pretty dumb question you know yeah, you feel that you're self-conscious about your upper lip now that you see yeah
Yeah, that's that you start hitting your lip. Yeah, I'm like looking in the mirror like that lip is huge
Can I can I tell you something? Yeah sure there is a lot of space between areas top lip in your nose
I call me a monster mustache, right?
I don't know how that works like does it just look bigger to me because you had a big mustache or did you have a big
Mustache did you have a mustache because you know how much space is between your upper lip and your nose?
It's out of the mustache was fucking putting his lip down. Yeah, well you look
Yeah, what if you shaved it and you how long has it been about five years? What if you shave it?
It was like a fucking eyeball under it
