Kirsten Alberts

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Watch Kirsten Alberts's Kill Tony episode 194 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 2 bits, 3 joke beats, 0.53 punch density, 1.67 tag density.

Career avg·3.67 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.45 punch density·0.79 tag density·3 sets

This set·2 bits·3 beats·0.53 punch density·1.67 tag density

- Thank you.

[Bit 1]

I worked as a waitress in a strip club once.

For me, stripping wasn't really an option

because the only curves I have are from scoliosis.

Plus I'm cool with my dad.

But you know if you strip you do it to support a kid or get a degree and you know those things are stupid

[Bit 2]

And you know I don't consider myself sexy. I'm cute. You know and like a prepubescent. I can keep a secret sort of way

But when I went in to apply for the waitressing job the manager was like yeah

We're actually interviewing people tomorrow, so when you come back in just make sure you look camera ready

I was like okay camera ready like like just from the neck up

And she was like, "What do you mean?"

I was like, "Can I have grass in a forest,

or do I need to pave paradise and put up a parking lot?"

You know what I'm saying?

She's like, "No, I don't know what you're saying."

I was like, "Can I save the rainforest?

Or do I need to endanger my species?"

You know what I mean?

She's like, "No, I don't know what you mean."

I was like, "Can I let the Indians keep their land?"

- Was that the end of that?

Is there more?

Or do I need to give him some smallpox?

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI worked as a waitress in a strip club once.

setupFor me, stripping wasn't really an option

punchlinebecause the only curves I have are from scoliosis.

tagPlus I'm cool with my dad.