Brian Vokey

Bucket PullMan

Watch Brian Vokey's Kill Tony episode 148 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 4 joke beats, 0.50 punch density, 0.75 tag density.

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·2.67 beats/set·0.44 punch density·0.92 tag density·3 sets

This set·1 bit·4 beats·0.50 punch density·0.75 tag density

[Bit 1]

I had to go to court a couple months back.

I didn't realize I had my knife on me,

so I got to the metal detector.

And I didn't want to run back to my car,

so I thought I'd ditch it in the bushes.

Which is apparently the same idea a whole fucking army had.

You would not believe the arsenal

I found in the courthouse bushes.

They looked like an Easter egg hunt at Ted Nugent's house.

Dude, if they had found half of these weapons in Iraq,

would have completely justified the invasion.

Protesters would have put down their signs, cut off their dreads,

had a steak with their father.

Things would have been different.

So anyways, my niece's birthday a couple days ago,

and I was so broke I didn't know what to get her.

And I was like, "Oh yeah, courthouse bushes."

So I ran up to the courthouse,

now I got some stuff and I was like,

"Happy birthday, Kendall,

"I got you a handgun and a grenade."

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI had to go to court a couple months back.

setupI didn't realize I had my knife on me,

setupso I got to the metal detector.

setupAnd I didn't want to run back to my car,

setupso I thought I'd ditch it in the bushes.

punchlineWhich is apparently the same idea a whole fucking army had.