William Montgomery

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Watch William Montgomery's Kill Tony episode 757 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 4 bits, 5 joke beats, 0.92 punch density, 1.20 tag density.

Career avg·4.14 bits/set·4.53 beats/set·0.59 punch density·0.47 tag density·128 sets

This set·4 bits·5 beats·0.92 punch density·1.20 tag density

[Bit 1]

- Give Epstein credit where credit is due.

The guy had zero spam in his inbox.

[Bit 2]

Meanwhile, StubHub e-mails me every hour asking,

"Wanna go to 17 concerts this weekend?

I don't even get Viagra spam anymore."

They're probably like, "Naw, dawg, this dude helpless.

Don't even waste a digital stamp.

Okay.

[Bit 3]

Quick housekeeping note,

probably not the best timing,

but when I was in Tucson recently,

somebody stole my razor scooter,

so, you know, any help from the local authorities

would be greatly appreciated.

Okay, that was that one. Let's keep moving.

[Bit 4]

So the mother of a morning show host goes missing,

and all y'all freak out!

Where were y'all when the old Blippi went missing?

Oh, look, new Blippi.

No explanation, no outrage.

They replaced the Blues Clues host,

and we stormed the Capitol.

Okay, that's my time. Thank you.

Bit 4 · Beat 2

Beat Details

Joke Type

hyperbole

Lines

setupThey replaced the Blues Clues host,

punchlineand we stormed the Capitol.