Uncle Lazer

SpecialManWhite

Watch Uncle Lazer's Kill Tony episode 589 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 4 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.47 punch density, 1.00 tag density.

Career avg·2.70 bits/set·4.15 beats/set·0.37 punch density·0.76 tag density·20 sets

This set·4 bits·4 beats·0.47 punch density·1.00 tag density

- Now listen here.

I don't know shit about fuck, okay?

[Bit 1]

I ain't a Republican, I ain't a Democrat,

I'm a lesbian.

Scissor me fucking timbers.

[Bit 2]

One thing I learned real quick in life,

you don't talk about politics at parties.

Everybody's doing drugs.

He threw up on your shirt, "Kyle, you're not gonna tell me

"how Russia and Ukraine are gonna be friends again."

Fuck you.

[Bit 3]

But I will get politically involved

for one sec right here.

Now look, I know what a bad deal is.

I've had a couple in my life.

I went to the script club one time

and spent $800 going to backroom with a nice young lady.

She told me about her nursing degree and she rubbed my leg.

And that was it.

Mr. Joe Biden, you traded a fucking first edition

Charizard Pokemon for a fucking starter pack Pikachu.

You fucking idiot.

[Bit 4]

If only we had a president that wrote a book

about the art of the deal.

I wrote that in the car on the way here.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupI ain't a Republican, I ain't a Democrat,

punchlineI'm a lesbian.

tagScissor me fucking timbers.