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2026-04-28

Pat O'Neill

Golden Ticket

Watch Pat O'Neill's Kill Tony episode 765 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 6 bits, 6 joke beats, 1.67 punch density, 1.50 tag density.

Career avg·5.60 bits/set·5.80 beats/set·0.70 punch density·0.49 tag density·5 sets

This set·6 bits·6 beats·1.67 punch density·1.50 tag density

[Bit 1]

- Folks, I'm on Tinder now.

Grindr was too easy, I needed a challenge, you know?

I don't settle for that easy shit.

[Bit 2]

Found my ex on that other app, Google Maps,

got you bitch, fucking try and run for me.

Ugh.

Dummy.

[Bit 3]

I cheated on her like she was a math test

with a Chinese boy, but you know, that's college for you.

[Bit 4]

Went on a date with an older gal recently,

told me she was going through menopause.

I was like, "Oh, well, your mouth still gets wet, right?

"Fucking, we can make this work.

"It's not getting all hasty."

[Bit 5]

A lot of the women I've dated have been single moms

after I'm through with them, and...

Little cause and effect.

[Bit 6]

Other night in bed,

this black girl told me to eat her ass.

I was like, I thought I already was.

So what's this thing then?

There's so much going on down here.

This is all so new to me.

All right, thank you.

Bit 5 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupA lot of the women I've dated have been single moms

punchlineafter I'm through with them, and...

tagLittle cause and effect.