Melissa Esslinger

Bucket PullWomanWhiteYoung

Watch Melissa Esslinger's Kill Tony episode 125 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 3 bits, 3 joke beats, 0.50 punch density, 0.00 tag density.

Career avg·2.43 bits/set·2.94 beats/set·0.50 punch density·0.56 tag density·35 sets

This set·3 bits·3 beats·0.50 punch density·0.00 tag density

[Bit 1]

Every time I go to the store I come out a little bit more lesbian. I wish I were a

lesbian because like I keep acting like one but I really like penis so I don't

[Bit 2]

know, but I don't like want a penis. Maybe just for like a day just to see what it

feels like, but I don't know. I had a dream a few times, this is a reoccurring dream,

where I had this cancer and the only cure for it was to have a penis. Woke up

in the bathtub with a dick, played with it for a day, and then went back to being

[Bit 3]

girl. In other news, I just broke up with my friends with benefits. Got dumped by my

fuck buddy. There goes the shaking again. Yeah. If I'm going to get upset over a guy's

dick, better be a fucking good one. There you go. A minute by Melissa Slinger, everybody.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

contradiction

Lines

setupEvery time I go to the store I come out a little bit more lesbian. I wish I were a

punchlinelesbian because like I keep acting like one but I really like penis so I don't