Matt Rivera

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Watch Matt Rivera's Kill Tony episode 707 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 3 bits, 3 joke beats, 0.67 punch density, 1.00 tag density.

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.49 punch density·0.56 tag density·3 sets

This set·3 bits·3 beats·0.67 punch density·1.00 tag density

[Bit 1]

Hey everybody, my name is Matt. I've always struggled with my masculinity. I think it's

because I like bubble baths, which is really confusing because now ice baths are cool.

It's like what are you getting at top of ice? You're manly and you're stoic,

but you had some soap and you're a pussy. I don't know how to treat people, man.

[Bit 2]

I saw this homeless guy the other day and he asked me for money.

I opened my wallet, I only had two dollars, so I told him no.

Then the next day I came back and he was dead.

And when something like that happens, it really like fucks with you,

but it teaches you to appreciate things in life.

Like I am so grateful I didn't give that guy any money.

Because he's fucking dead now and it's a tale as old as time.

say a bird in a hand beats two in a dead homeless guys in a bush I've been

[Bit 3]

getting a little freakier in the bedroom recently I had sex in the Amazon

position yeah it's it's pretty hot it's when I'm on top and she's at her phone

looking at throw pillows all right thank you guys all right Matt Rivera the

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

contradiction

Lines

setupHey everybody, my name is Matt. I've always struggled with my masculinity. I think it's

setupbecause I like bubble baths, which is really confusing because now ice baths are cool.

setupIt's like what are you getting at top of ice? You're manly and you're stoic,

punchlinebut you had some soap and you're a pussy. I don't know how to treat people, man.