Watch Dan Nolan’s set

Skips to 43:01 in the episode

Having trouble with the embed? Open on YouTube at 43:01

2020-05-06

Dan Nolan

Bucket PullManWhite

Watch Dan Nolan's Kill Tony episode 168 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 6 bits, 6 joke beats, 0.77 punch density, 0.67 tag density.

Career avg·3.75 bits/set·4.25 beats/set·0.50 punch density·0.98 tag density·8 sets

This set·6 bits·6 beats·0.77 punch density·0.67 tag density

[Bit 1]

Hey, I just found out that penguins made for life. I wish somebody had told me that

before I fucked all of those penguins. They will not leave me alone.

I'm just, "Man, man, man, get out of here.

I called you an Uber."

[Bit 2]

I wanted to donate my body to science,

but they already have a bunch,

so I'm probably just going to give it to math or social studies.

[Bit 3]

And I just wanted to donate sperm.

Turns out you need a college degree to donate sperm.

They wouldn't let me do it,

so I didn't know what to do with all my sperm after that.

I just left it on the bus.

I didn't even find it.

[Bit 4]

I always confuse the words optimist and optometrist.

I asked a guy to check out my glasses,

he said he thought they were half full.

[Bit 5]

I think it's important to patronize small businesses,

just tell them stuff like, "Oh business,

I don't think you're that small,

you're a regular sized business.

I don't know what those other guys get to you."

[Bit 6]

I think that jerking off in the shower

should be called master bathing.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupHey, I just found out that penguins made for life. I wish somebody had told me that

punchlinebefore I fucked all of those penguins. They will not leave me alone.

tagI'm just, "Man, man, man, get out of here.

tagI called you an Uber."