- What the fuck was that?
All right, William isn't here, so...
I'm just gonna go through 'em.
[Bit 1]
Elon Musk said in an interview this week
that AI will replace Mexicans by 2028.
Too much Mexicans said, "Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye!"
[Bit 2]
This one just says, "Tony, moving forward,
can I go by Clifford the Big Red Angry Retard?"
Okay. Think that might have been an interview thing.
[Bit 3]
"Vietnam invaded Italy this week.
When asked why, they said, 'F*ck, get about it.'"
I think that needs work, William.
"Conservative activist Charlie Kirk..."
"Red band, if you play the bear, I'm gonna titty-f*ck you."
[Bit 4]
"Nastiest perseverance robot.
My hands are shaking because I'm going through pussy withdrawal.
Right now I haven't fucked in like two hours.
It just, honestly, this just says the n-word a bunch of times.
Let's just wrap it up right there.
All right. Thank you, William.
of the newest fucking Thunderbolt.
All gas, no brakes, non-stop, so fun, on the road, at home,
anywhere you can find him. He's a blast.
-Yeah. -New jacket I noticed
tonight, Timmy No Bracks.
This is a whole different version.
You didn't mention David Lucas was on the road with us.
-Yeah. -And that guy sat on my leather jacket.
He gave me his leather jacket, and...
Just kidding. This is too small.
-But, yeah, fun times are on the road, Tone.
I don't want to give anything away,
but, oh, my God, you are so different.
It's so bizarre and fun and different.
There's no other way to describe it.
You don't even think like other comedians do.
-Yeah. It's just -- Thanks.
That's a nice thing to say, Tone.
That's really, really nice. Thank you.
Unbelievable right it's crazy. It's like fucking
Eight up Hitler became a magician what the fuck it is
It looks like it looks like he got splashed by one of those people
Protesting oil or something like that a little bit a little bit
Timmy no breaks one of the top young rising comedians in the world
- Fuck this jacket, I'm taking this.
- You want this, Michael?
- Michael's going to disappear in that jacket.
- It is unbelievable how tiny Big Mike Gonzalez is.
Coming fresh off of a victory.
- Oh my God, look at him, he's just lost in his sleeve.
- Oh my God, that is adorable.
You look like one of those--
- Look just like David Luke.
You look like a little Eskimo over there.
Tell us, what have you been doing lately for fun?
You're always up to, you know, some real ruckus.
Yeah, just being--just plowing through push and...
I mean, it was great to be on the road with you.
That was really fun. You and David, we got up to crazy stuff.
I love seeing your routine, you know,
like kind of like what you do after the shows,
like the thing you did when you--so, like, after every show,
he smokes cigarettes, he has some drinks,
He has some drinks and then he does this thing where he has a bunch of 17 year olds.
They're about to turn 18 at midnight.
Just line up outside of his hotel room and then he fucks them one by one.
I thought that was pretty creative and cool and whatever.
It was pretty good to get to know you.
What the fuck did you just say?
The fuck do you just say?
That's what I'm trying to do with William.
- Timmy, I gotta tell ya, you know,
for someone who's, this place is in chaos.
I mean, this is what you create.
And I'm sure millions of people are watching
around the world right now.
And I mean, you are that guy right now.
You are the fastest rising stock in the show.
Why don't you control the situation a little bit
and tell perhaps a young comic out there
who might be thinking about chasing their dreams.
Why don't you have your moment and tell them.
- Are you trying to fuck me right now?
What's going on? - No, no,
- Okay, well, first of all,
put subtitles on everything throughout the entire episode.
So you have to do that, Red Band.
[Bit 5]
But William did give me a list.
So, I was just gonna -- I don't know.
I could read that, maybe.
-Yeah. You want the lights or the music a certain way?
Whatever, you know, do your thing, Sidney.
-Yeah, whatever you do for "William is Good."
[Bit 6]
If you're trying to be a comedian
and that's your dream, fucking quit.
You're never gonna make it.
Okay. Let's see how this goes.
That's actually so Raven.
The cast of Nickelodeon's all dead!
- Timmy, always going for that fist bump with D-madness.
I think I don't think he has anything.
- Is he like blind or something?
- We call him Timmy No Eyes.
- If you could have seen what I saw.
- Timmy, any parting words?
anything you want to tell the people watching around the world?
You did a big... You've been doing a lot of headlining gigs.
[Bit 8]
You did a big jazz club.
Yeah, I did a huge jazz club.
I think it was a 50,000-seater or something.
Sioux Falls. I don't know if you guys have been there.
It's like South Dakota, whatever. Big show.
Yeah, big line out the front.
And yeah, I just gave it my all and they said it was good.
I think the New York Times was there.
I think Vulture.com was there.
I think Red Band's mom was there.
She did a fucking op-ed on my fucking top.
