Matthew Maloney

Bucket PullManYoungWhite

Watch Matthew Maloney's Kill Tony episode 126 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 2 joke beats, 0.20 punch density, 0.00 tag density.

Career avg·1.33 bits/set·3.17 beats/set·0.57 punch density·0.39 tag density·6 sets

This set·1 bit·2 beats·0.20 punch density·0.00 tag density

[Bit 1]

We will witness the extinction of taxis in our lifetime.

Much like the horse and carriage, there might be one or two that'll drive you through Central Park for the purpose of romantic nostalgia.

But that's about it.

This is what we'll be telling our grandchildren.

Forty years from now we're all going to be like,

"Racking my name."

"Mags at the grocery store used to be free."

And there were these yellow cars that would charge us $50 just to take us across town.

And I know $50 is what you kids these days would pay for a bottle of soda.

But this is back in 2015 before President Trump fucked it up for everyone.

And they're not even going to care. They're going to have their Oculus Rift glasses on and they're going to be like,

gonna be like, "Shut the fuck up, grandma! I'm trying to watch porn!"

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupWe will witness the extinction of taxis in our lifetime.

setupMuch like the horse and carriage, there might be one or two that'll drive you through Central Park for the purpose of romantic nostalgia.

setupBut that's about it.

setupThis is what we'll be telling our grandchildren.

setupForty years from now we're all going to be like,

setup"Racking my name."

setup"Mags at the grocery store used to be free."

setupAnd there were these yellow cars that would charge us $50 just to take us across town.

setupAnd I know $50 is what you kids these days would pay for a bottle of soda.

punchlineBut this is back in 2015 before President Trump fucked it up for everyone.