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Kill Tony #219 (Kurt Metzger, Wheeler Walker, Ron White)

2017-07-23

Jessica Wellington

Bucket PullWomanWhite

Watch Jessica Wellington's Kill Tony episode 219 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 2 joke beats, 0.19 punch density, 1.50 tag density.

Career avg·1.50 bits/set·2.00 beats/set·0.23 punch density·1.25 tag density·2 sets

This set·1 bit·2 beats·0.19 punch density·1.50 tag density

[Bit 1]

- Hi, I think you guys, I've learned in this climate

You can't fight crazy with facts.

So if you can't beat them, let's fucking join them.

Let's just fight crazy with crazy.

You know what I mean?

It's like the other night I was outside this club,

this homeless guy comes up and starts talking to me.

And at first it's the normal stuff, like, do you

have any change?

I said, no.

And he looked at me and he said, that's a nice jacket

that you have.

I said, thank you.

He said, is it bulletproof?

So I looked at him, I said,

"You know what man, that's a really nice jacket

"that you have.

"Is it rape proof?"

Yeah, he walked away.

And I wish I could say that was the end of my night,

but I was at my favorite pizza joint.

I was two bites in.

This guy comes up and he says,

"I hope I don't ruin your appetite."

And I was like, "Well, this is a good start."

He said, "But I was just in a knife fight."

And he points at his freshly knifed hand.

And he said, "That's crazy, huh?"

I said, "Yeah man, it's a crazy night.

"I nearly raped a homeless man."

He walked away too.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setup- Hi, I think you guys, I've learned in this climate

setupYou can't fight crazy with facts.

setupSo if you can't beat them, let's fucking join them.

setupLet's just fight crazy with crazy.

setupIt's like the other night I was outside this club,

setupthis homeless guy comes up and starts talking to me.

setupAnd at first it's the normal stuff, like, do you

setuphave any change?

setupI said, no.

setupAnd he looked at me and he said, that's a nice jacket

setupthat you have.

setupI said, thank you.

setupHe said, is it bulletproof?

setupSo I looked at him, I said,

setup"You know what man, that's a really nice jacket

setup"that you have.

punchline"Is it rape proof?"

tagYeah, he walked away.

setupAnd I wish I could say that was the end of my night,

setupbut I was at my favorite pizza joint.

setupI was two bites in.

setupThis guy comes up and he says,

setup"I hope I don't ruin your appetite."

tagAnd I was like, "Well, this is a good start."