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Kill Tony #219 (Kurt Metzger, Wheeler Walker, Ron White)

2017-07-23

Mike Diaz

Bucket PullManLatinoYoung

Watch Mike Diaz's Kill Tony episode 219 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 2 joke beats, 0.18 punch density, 1.00 tag density.

Career avg·1.80 bits/set·2.60 beats/set·0.20 punch density·0.33 tag density·5 sets

This set·1 bit·2 beats·0.18 punch density·1.00 tag density

[Bit 1]

- Something there, I had a weird group of friends growing up.

One time we were all hanging out and one of them

just kind of like stopped the conversation,

was like, "Hey, we should measure our dicks."

And like no one had a problem with it,

everyone was like, "Oh yeah, who's got the ruler?"

And so the first guy, black friend of the group,

he goes first, it was his idea.

And he comes out and he's like,

"Dude, it's like seven inches."

And then he, like, baton passes it back to my friend.

He goes in, he comes out.

He's like, "Dude, yeah, it's like six inches."

And then it gets passed to me.

And like, you know, honestly, it's the best policy.

So I came out and I was like, "Guys, look, it's...

"I mean, it's not looking, I mean, like, foreign change.

"Like, we're pushing low numbers."

And like, my friends, they were nice.

They never made fun of me for having a short dick.

They just like, they would do this thing

where they'd like high five around me and go like,

"Huge dicks!"

And then, like there was a lot of embarrassment

'cause like I didn't, like why didn't I lie?

Like that wasn't, such a, thank you.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setup- Something there, I had a weird group of friends growing up.

setupOne time we were all hanging out and one of them

setupjust kind of like stopped the conversation,

setupwas like, "Hey, we should measure our dicks."

setupAnd like no one had a problem with it,

setupeveryone was like, "Oh yeah, who's got the ruler?"

setupAnd so the first guy, black friend of the group,

setuphe goes first, it was his idea.

setupAnd he comes out and he's like,

setup"Dude, it's like seven inches."

setupAnd then he, like, baton passes it back to my friend.

setupHe goes in, he comes out.

setupHe's like, "Dude, yeah, it's like six inches."

setupAnd then it gets passed to me.

setupAnd like, you know, honestly, it's the best policy.

setupSo I came out and I was like, "Guys, look, it's...

setup"I mean, it's not looking, I mean, like, foreign change.

punchline"Like, we're pushing low numbers."