Mike Holder

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Watch Mike Holder's Kill Tony episode 735 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 6 bits, 6 joke beats, 0.91 punch density, 0.67 tag density.

Career avg·4.00 bits/set·4.50 beats/set·0.59 punch density·0.67 tag density·2 sets

This set·6 bits·6 beats·0.91 punch density·0.67 tag density·Small Joke Book

Thank you guys very much. Thank you very much.

[Bit 1]

I'm not sure if you guys know who I am, but I'm on a lot of street signs.

It's the signs that say pedestrian crossing, and I'm standing like this.

Thought you might recognize me from my clothes on, maybe not.

A couple phrases that pissed me off.

[Bit 2]

I hate it when someone starts telling me a story,

and halfway through they say,

Anyway, long story short, they may continue to make the story longer, my god, man.

[Bit 3]

What do we call people who wake up at sunrise early birds? As if they are late birds.

I thought all birds were a kapun. What do you think there's a bird somewhere waking up at 10 o'clock saying,

"Oh shit, I'm in small flight!" What never fucking happened?

[Bit 4]

Since they lock your phones away, I assume you haven't heard the news.

Earlier today, a group of chickens were protesting the use of hormones. It was a peaceful protest, but some are raising canes.

[Bit 5]

In tragic news, a fatal shooting at a golf resort

resulted in a hole in one and three handicaps.

It was tragic.

[Bit 6]

Regarding the Epstein scandal, honestly, all this time,

I was never interested in seeing the list.

I just wanted to know why is that place still called the Virgin Islands?

There's not a single Virgin left!

That grandma shot me Mike Holder.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

analogy

Lines

setupI'm not sure if you guys know who I am, but I'm on a lot of street signs.

punchlineIt's the signs that say pedestrian crossing, and I'm standing like this.

tagThought you might recognize me from my clothes on, maybe not.