Matthew Maloney

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Watch Matthew Maloney's Kill Tony episode 129 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 2 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.75 punch density, 0.50 tag density.

Career avg·1.33 bits/set·3.17 beats/set·0.57 punch density·0.39 tag density·6 sets

This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.75 punch density·0.50 tag density

All right, heads up everybody.

[Bit 1]

I'm coming in like halfway through my set about time travel.

So what this means is everyone in this room is alive thanks to Adolf Hitler.

So you can't go back in time to kill Hitler because that would mean that you would never exist.

And I know some of you are thinking, "That doesn't matter to me. I would still go back in time. It's the right thing to do.

I would still kill Hitler if it means I would never exist."

It doesn't fucking work that way!

[Bit 2]

This isn't Back to the Future where you'll just start fading away from photographs.

It doesn't make any sense.

If you don't exist, why would anyone take your picture?

Do you think if Marty had failed to get his parents back together, George McFly would

have just walked around with pictures of no one in his wallet?

George, like why do you have all these pictures of nobody?

"Oh, those are just the pictures of the children that I don't have."

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupI'm coming in like halfway through my set about time travel.

punchlineSo what this means is everyone in this room is alive thanks to Adolf Hitler.