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2025-03-18

Ari Matti

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Watch Ari Matti's Kill Tony episode 711 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 3 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.45 punch density, 1.50 tag density.

Career avg·2.29 bits/set·4.17 beats/set·0.53 punch density·1.03 tag density·35 sets

This set·3 bits·4 beats·0.45 punch density·1.50 tag density

-What's that?

[Bit 1]

-Sorry I'm a little on edge.

There's no porn in Texas.

Give me back my porn!

I'm a little on edge.

Don't look at me weird when I'm in the bush waiting now.

I got to get my release.

[Bit 2]

I love how some of my friends are like,

"Yeah, you can watch porn in Texas.

in Texas all you gotta do is get a VPN.

Yeah, I'm just trying to beat my dick.

I'm not Edward Snowden.

I'm trying to get my belly button full of cum.

I'm not trying to rig an election.

[Bit 3]

Dude, the first time you go to watch Pornhub in Texas

and you see that fucking message come up,

It's fucking weird.

You got your lotion ready, dick card.

All of a sudden, you're like, "Elected officials."

Legislation, huh?

And I've read the whole message.

If you scroll to the bottom of that message,

you actually find out that you can watch this.

all you got to do is get age verification.

And that means you got to send a picture to Pornhub

of your face holding your ID.

Yeah!

I'm not gonna do that.

It's not like the porn I watch is illegal.

But, uh...

I definitely need to explain it.

Thank you so much.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setup-Sorry I'm a little on edge.

punchlineThere's no porn in Texas.

tagGive me back my porn!

tagI'm a little on edge.

tagDon't look at me weird when I'm in the bush waiting now.

tagI got to get my release.