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2025-04-22

David Lucas

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Watch David Lucas's Kill Tony episode 715 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 3 bits, 5 joke beats, 0.30 punch density, 0.20 tag density.

Career avg·2.63 bits/set·3.91 beats/set·0.61 punch density·1.20 tag density·65 sets

This set·3 bits·5 beats·0.30 punch density·0.20 tag density

Yeah.

[Bit 1]

I'm sick of this body positivity shit.

They tried to make it real popular a few years ago

with Lizzo.

And even she was tired of being a fat bitch.

She lost weight.

[Bit 2]

They tried to make us start feeling bad for fat people again this year, and I'm a fat

person.

I don't think the world should accommodate big back motherfuckers, you know?

Y'all saw that shit where that fat ass girl tried to sue Uber because she couldn't fit

in the car?

It's like, "Bitch, you know you ordered the wrong size Uber.

You should have ordered a tow truck, you know?"

You can't let nobody that size get in your car.

That bitch get in your car, your fucking oil light.

Come on, man.

If she would have tried to get into my car,

I would have turned into a Japanese granddad.

I'd have been like, oh no, no, no, no, no.

Oh no.

Too big, you pick size.

[Bit 3]

I love Nashville, it's full of white women.

Yeah.

I feel like if I don't fuck white women,

then Martin Luther King died in vain.

All right, that's about time David Lucas took it.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

contradiction

Lines

setupI'm sick of this body positivity shit.

setupThey tried to make it real popular a few years ago

setupwith Lizzo.

setupAnd even she was tired of being a fat bitch.

punchlineShe lost weight.